Overwhelming

This might be kind of a sappy post, but I need to get some of what is in my head out into the world. I have been thinking a lot about how overwhelming motherhood can be. Of course there is just the day to day, "How on Earth will I get everything done that I need to?" feeling. But I have been thinking more about the overwhelming feelings that come with motherhood. The absolutely complete love that I have for Eloise, and that she loves me so completely in return. That from day one, loving each other came so naturally. At 6 o'clock tonight, Eloise had a bath to wash off her snack of strawberries and the sunscreen that was all over her. I put on a diaper, and a onesie for pajamas, and we grabbed her pig (which she very lovingly calls "baby".) She asked me to "nurse please" and said "night night" knowing that she was tired, and it was time for bed. I held her close as she ate, and remembered that first day she was born. How she rooted so sweetly. She knew what she needed from me, and trusted me so entirely. My sweet little baby had no idea that I was so new at this. That I was scared of not doing everything right. She trusted and loved me, and felt safe in my arms. Looking down at her drifting off while nursing tonight, (very much bigger than a newborn), I thought of how much we loved each other, and how we have gotten to know each other so well. We have both grown so much. I don't even have to think about the things I do as a mother anymore. I know her favorite toys, games, and books. I know her different cries, and when she needs me to hold her, and when she needs to sort things out for herself. I just love being a mother. I love Eloise and her very distinct personality. I love that she loves me, and trusts me. It is truly overwhelming, in the very best sense.